Wedding Mechanic

Balancing work and the family.

Your morning starts with your hair being tugged by your two year old. You open one eye, hoping that you are still dreaming. After tossing and turning all night, and waking to cries of monster the last thing on your mind is work. Nevertheless, many of us wake and find ourselves following our daily morning rituals, mediating between the children and the husband and finding time to prepare for work.

Sometimes I curse the women who fought for equal opportunity, sending us all out into the workforce. It appears that most of our day is spent trying to be equitable, however definitely not in the traditional sense once known to the feminist era, but in an attempt to share ourselves with our children, our husbands and work. For many working mothers, mornings are met with cries of I can’t find my school shoes, whilst the toddler runs around the home like a mini cyclone, leaving a path of destruction. In between applying our make up, and preparing breakfast, the children are constantly demanding attention.

Some of us are lucky to have our husband home in the morning to assist in the management of what appears to be at times world war three. I myself are one of the lucky ones who’s husband is able to lend a helping hand, nevertheless, for a mother, it is always difficult to overcome the guilt of working full time whilst attempting to care for the children. Finding the time to share yourself around, and developing a healthy work/family balance is extremely difficult, and at times appear impossible. So how do mothers develop a career whilst maintaining a healthy family life?

Being a mother means being able to manage your time effectively, especially if working full time. You need to establish healthy working hours with your employer. Also, it pays to have an employer who is flexible, allowing you to be able to start work and finish work at times that also suit the needs of your family. Having a partner certainly helps. One of you can start work later in order to drop the children to school or child care, whist the other finishes work earlier to pick the children up. It certainly is achievable, but can take some effective time management and negotiations at work and with the family.

For parents who do it on their own, this can be difficult. If you don’t have access to friends or family members who can assist, then it certainly pays to do your homework and find a childcare centre or school that offers before and after school care.

Running the household and accomplishing all household tasks can also create stress. Once again, having a partner can eliminate some stress, and many of the tasks can be shared. Establishing a routine becomes important, allowing you to plan your days effectively, and knowing when things such as washing and ironing can be completed. I always advise parents, in particular parents who are on their own, to cook and prepare meals for the week on the weekend, and then freeze them. It’s simpler, saves time and cuts the workload down significantly.

Parents may also find themselves lacking time for one another. I know that my husband and I have very little time to spend with one another. When you do have some quite time together, most of it is spent lying around in bed watching television and taking some time out. Intimacy often becomes a thing of the past, and for some couples this can take a deleterious toll on the relationship. Making time for one another is very important. Arranging a baby sitter once a month or even every fortnight can be a great way to go out and spend some time together as a couple. Couples who fail to make an effort often find that their relationship may become stagnant, dull and lacking in intimacy. Like children, relationships are hard work and require effort and commitment to ensuring that both partners work towards a common goal. Some couples find themselves weighing up between quality and quantity, and then choosing their option. The issue pertaining to quality and quantity should not center on which out weighs the other. Successful relationships incorporate both quality and quantity. This means time spent with one another occurs regularly, and is always meaningful and solicitous.

Spending time as a family is also extremely important and should be made a priority. Take a day off on the weekend and have a family picnic. The fresh air and change of scenery will certainly invigorate and rejuvenate you for the week to come. Arrange a family holiday, and spend the weekend, or part of the school holidays away from the hustle and bustle of every day life which most of us are accustomed to. Children also need to develop an understanding of quality time, and together time. It’s often too easy to allow the children to entertain themselves, and often, families find themselves living together, but interacting very little with one another. We become absorbed in our own world, our own interests, and slowly create boundaries around one another.

Finding the perfect balance between working and managing family life is intricately close to impossible. As individuals, we tend to focus on what is required of ourselves, and we work towards completing the tasks required of us with little regard for the tasks that is not required, but aids in establishing positive and lifelong relationships. Children require structure and routine, and thrive on gaining a sense of belonging within a family structure. Couples need time to themselves, but also need time to appreciate one another, and relish in their partner’s company. With effective time management, negotiation and a little give and take, most people can learn to effectively manage their working life and their family life successfully.

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